Report: Nose Wet
NEW YORK - Neighborhood puppy Vincent Dogforio has been confirmed by several witnesses to have a wet nose.
“It’s like, icky, cause, like, it’s SO wet, ya know?” commented owner Dana Simpson. “And then he rushes over and sticks it all over you. Like, come on man, I just showered and got dressed, and I’m trying to go out, get that thing out of here already!”
Vincent appears to be completely oblivious to the trail of wetness his nose continually leaves everywhere he goes, as he just proceeds to stick it anywhere he wants anyway.
“This is news to me!” began Dogforio. “Maybe if someone had told me things would be different, but also, what’s the difference? I lick Dana’s face constantly and she doesn’t have a problem with that?!”
Dana, changing her outfit again because there is a nose-shaped wet spot, was last seen attempting to sidle past Vincent so as not to ruin another outfit before going out for the evening.
Article by Louie Aronowitz - @louiearonowitz