Terrible Roommate Has Good Dog
NEW YORK - Alex Barrett, an awful person to share a home with, has become the ideal roommate after it was confirmed he has a cute dog, according to several sources.
“He’s disgusting, and dirty,” began current roommate Miranda Green. “He leaves food out all the time, never does his dishes, and in general just always leaves a mess. But Carrots, his dog, oh, he makes it worth living here. That doggo is the best-o!”
Even potential dates have found themselves carefully weighing the pros and cons of going to Barrett’s apartment.
“He really is gross, and to be honest, I don’t even like him all that much,” boyfriend Mark Allen began. “But, let’s be real, I can forgive him being basically the worst person ever, if it means hanging out with that doggy!”
“My room is so small, I can’t even fit a bed all the way in it,” Green added. “Like, the end of the mattress is folded up slightly because it’s so small, but when I looked at the apartment, I took it on the spot after meeting that cute pup. I think I made the right call.”
Though no action has been taken yet, there have been rumors floating around that some friends are plotting to steal Carrot so they no longer have to put up with Barrett anymore, but that plan has yet to be implemented.
Article by Louie Aronowitz - @louiearonowitz