Dog Confused By Sudden Appearance Of Smaller, Squishier Human

Dog Confused By Sudden Appearance Of Smaller, Squishier Human

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BOULDER, CO - Neighborhood dog, Lucy, found herself confused by the sudden appearance of a smaller, squishier human earlier this week, she confirmed.

“I have no idea where this tiny, slimy human came from,” said Lucy, still bewildered by the new creature. “When they walked through the door with a small bundle, I thought it was a sack of potatoes, or maybe a large burrito? It’s tough to tell, but something was up!”

Lucy expressed immediate suspicion of this new thing.

“I’d never smelled that new human smell before,” she continued. “Except for once at the park where my humans met a new human like the one they brought home today. Is this one also gonna grab my ears? Because that was just rude.”

Adjusting to life with the new human has been difficult for Lucy.

“It’s the worst, all that tiny human does is bark all day and all night,” she added. “And for no good reason either! When I bark, it’s to warn my humans about that menace who comes to our house every day with boxes and letters.”

Lucy’s family stated they feel Lucy will just need some time to adjust, but will inevitably come around.

“That new human can’t even fetch!” Lucy added in regards to no longer being the center of attention. “I’d show him how, but he’s too busy crying all the time. Then again, I’d cry too if I were born without any fur! Though I hate this tiny thing, I obviously will still protect it at all costs, as it is also my new best friend.”


Article by Mark Hassenfratz - @markhassenfratz

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