Dog Confirms Friend Zone Not Real
NEW YORK - Harry, a neighborhood dog, has confirmed the Friend Zone is an antiquated social construct that does not exist.
“If anyone is gonna be in the Friend Zone, it's me,” Harry began. “I'm the best friend, so naturally that's where I would be, but I'm not, so clearly it's a fabrication from awful people who don't even deserve to be friends.”
Harry’s owner, Michelle Kenny, agreed with her pup, expressing irritation at the widespread use of the term.
“Trust me, if I were to have a Friend Zone, Harry would be the only member, because he's my best friend,” she commented. “But it's not a real thing. Either we're friends or not, there's no conspiracy to take advantage of people. See, this is why I prefer to just hang out with Harry. He really is the best!”
Harry mentioned he gets food, pets, and tons of cuddles, so if there is a Friend Zone, and he's in it, well then, “consider yourself lucky to be there, cause the Friend Zone is amazing!”
Article by Louie Aronowitz - @louiearonowitz