Dog On Subway In IKEA Bag
NEW YORK - Tess, a neighborhood dog, was seen boarding a New York subway car, with the aid of her owner, in a giant IKEA bag, sources confirm.
“I peaked up from my owner’s purse,” neighborhood Dachshund, Princess, began. “And there she was, in this giant blue bag. Tess is a big girl, like, huge. But there she was, in this giant IKEA bag. I don’t even know how her owner was holding her up!”
According to new subway practices, dogs must be kept in a bag to enter the train.
“You know what, you do what you gotta do, right?” commented Tess’s owner, Bart Miller. “I take the subway, and Tess comes with me. We make do. I suppose I could have bought something specifically for her, or maybe taken an Uber, or maybe just not take her with me literally everywhere I go, but that’s just not how we roll.”
Tess was quite pleased by the new mode of transportation, describing the bag as roomy and comfy.
“I love it!” Tess mentioned. “I don’t have to walk anymore. Don’t have to put my paws on that yucky subway at all. I get carried everywhere! I’m living the dream!”
Living the dream was brought to an immediate halt when Bart began dating someone, and no longer brought Tess anywhere with him.
Article by Louie Aronowitz - @louiearonowitz