Couch Access Extended Beyond Daytime Hours
BUCKHORN, SD - With the recent economic struggles of dog lover Angela Hastings, Roxy and Sophie, two neighborhood pugs, have received confirmation that couch access has been extended beyond regular daytime hours for the foreseeable future.
Roxy, the three-year-old elder, delivered the news to Sophie, one, while awaiting a feeding time that was over two hours behind schedule.
“I had a feeling that this was coming,” Roxy stated. “The first clue was when our owner Angela came home from work wearing her light grey Best Buy shirt and changed into a dark grey Staples shirt. That means two jobs, and twice as much time for us on the cushions.”
Angela’s financial struggles have been amplified recently due to major car repairs and condo fees increasing, and as a result is not home at night to prohibit the constantly shedding pugs from laying on the expensive couch she can barely afford.
“I couldn’t believe it,” an excited, but hungry, Sophie confirmed. “I was in a routine of wrapping up my forbidden couch nap after eight hours and going directly to pretending to sleep in my tiny floor bed, but now I have so much more time to stay put and dream of finally catching that squirrel.”
There have been some reports of middle-of-the-night couch availability being limited. Angela has been known to fall asleep sitting in her work clothes as early as 10pm.
“I’m not too concerned,” Sophie said. “She can use the night time couch hours up, it just opens up the floodgates in terms of posturepedic pillow naps. And full access to the delicious bedside buffet of contact lenses and tissues.”
Matt Kona @MattKona