Today Marks “Year Of The Dog” As If Every Year Isn’t Already Year Of The Dog

Today Marks “Year Of The Dog” As If Every Year Isn’t Already Year Of The Dog

Chinese New YEar.jpg

NEW YORK - The “Year Of The Dog” begins today, though realistically, every year could be considered the “Year Of The Dog,” pretty much every source confirms.

“We don’t need a year on the calendar dedicated to us,” exclaimed neighborhood dog, Woofio. “I’m man’s best friend. Every year is my year. When was the last time Bill took his pet dragon to Wo Hop, fed him egg rolls, and let him lick his face. Mark my words, if you let a dragon lick your face, you will get burned!”

Various other neighborhood dogs chimed in with similar perspectives.

“Everyone loves dogs,” stated neighborhood pup, Plop. “Literally, everyone. If you don’t love dogs, who even are you? I don’t trust people that don’t love dogs. What was the question again?”

“Here’s the thing,” began elder neighborhood dog, Nicodemus. “By having a year dedicated to the dog, you imply the other years are not dedicated to your pups, thus purporting a falsity that there is any time, any year, throughout your existence that is not dedicated to your ‘best friend’. The very existence of the ‘Year Of The Dog’ is without purpose or meaning, and only serves to convolute and complicate society.”

Nicodemus later added, “But sure, I’ll take the extra pets and treats that come along with this.”


Article by Louie Aronowitz - @louiearonowitz

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