Punk Dog Chasing Tail Opens Up Circle Pit
NEW YORK - Bark Wahlberg, a neighborhood Boston Terrier, inadvertently initiated a “circle pit” at a local concert while chasing his tail, sources confirm.
“I don’t know what that dog was even doing at the show,” commented Mark Shrader, a local concert-goer. “But as soon as he started making circles, we all knew what to do. All of us followed his lead, and before you knew it, had the biggest circle pit I’ve ever seen. That dog is punk A-F.”
Wahlberg commented on the phenomenon, showing both surprise and elation.
“I’m glad I could help,” he began. “Everyone was just standing there with their arms crossed, lightly bobbing their heads. Someone needed to step up and open up that pit. I wasn’t initially intending to, I was just chasing that dumb tail that I’ll probably never catch anyway, but once it started happening I was pleasantly surprised. I regret nothing.”
Wahlberg is being considered the savior of the show, as the band was having some trouble engaging the audience.
“Usually we get the kids running around, moshing, all of it, but something was just off that night,” Roger Lima, bassist of Less Than Jake, mentioned of the show. “It happens from time to time. It’s been happening more and more recently. Maybe we’re getting older, I don’t know. Luckily Bark Wahlberg was there to save the day. He’s a real best friend. That dog is punk A-F.”
Wahlberg, though glad he could help, later mentioned he would have instead rathered seen his favorite band, PUP.
Article by Louie Aronowitz - @louiearonowitz