Dog Unsure What To Do After Learning To Shake Hands

Dog Unsure What To Do After Learning To Shake Hands

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ATHENS, GA - Neighborhood Dog, Virginia Woof, found herself overwhelmed by her own intellect after mastering the craft of shaking hands, she confirmed.

“I feel as though I am alone in a maze of my own mind’s superiority,” said Virginia Woof. “Just as Faustus, cursed by the knowledge of the heavens, I am cursed by the knowledge of humans. I have attempted to shake the hands of my canine brethren, but we quickly dissolve into sniffing each other instead.”

Owner Jon Oswald was startled by how excited his dog was by the new skill.

“Ever since I taught her how to shake hands, she’s been obsessed with it. She doesn’t even fetch anymore. She just keeps asking me to shake hands,” said Jon. “I don’t know if I can keep this hand shaking up. My hands are starting to get cramps from it.”

Oswald suspects Virginia even learned to use the computer, as he recently discovered in his search history “scholarship programs in the art of hand shakery.”


Article by Quinn Brown

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