Neighborhood Cat Suddenly Enormous
AKRON - A frightened neighborhood cat inflated itself to monstrous proportions Tuesday, according to horrified seeing-eyewitnesses.
“I don’t know what she did, or how.” Clarence reported. “She started hissing and then she got really huge. I thought she was never going to stop getting big.”
Mittens, known to be a troubling presence even at her regular size, was observed to somehow grow until she towered over neighborhood dogs Clarence and Teddy. Both dogs report that the cat grew until she was perhaps 7 or even 8 times her normal size.
“I thought she would keep getting bigger until she filled the whole house and exploded the house and then we would have to run away down the street or maybe be crushed to death in the house,” Teddy vehemently agreed.
Both dogs valiantly combatted the menace, barking and howling for several seconds, before bravely retreating behind an end-table.
Miraculously, Mittens is reported to have resumed existence at her regularly-expected size, though both onlookers report feeling traumatized by the incident.
“Now that I know what she’s capable of,” added Clarence, “I don’t think I’m ever going to sleep again. I think I’m probably going to try to sleep and then remember that she can just get big like that and get scared again and then probably try to keep sleeping but then not.”
All creatures involved seemed to have entered a détente, but no-one can say for just how long.
Article by Michael Garrett Steele