Doggie Door Suddenly Considerably Smaller Than Remembered
NEW YORK - BB-8, a neighborhood Beagle, has reported the opening at the bottom of his owner’s front door that he uses to get in and out of the house, has suddenly, and without any explanation, become too small to fit through.
“I run through that little square every day.” BB-8 commented. “I go outside, I come back in. I don’t know what happened, but I suddenly don’t fit through the opening. I think the humans made it smaller… but why?”
BB-8’s owner, Beth Ronman, did not recall making any structural changes to her front door, though several of BB-8’s friends noticed the change as well.
“I used to sneak in with BB-8 while his owner wasn’t home,” began neighborhood pug, Poppy. “Sometimes when no one was around, we would go inside to play, but as of last week I didn’t fit neither. She definitely made it smaller. My hypothesis: she did it gradually over the course of a few weeks so we wouldn’t realize it was slowly getting smaller, until one day, we just don’t fit through it anymore. She’s a clever one; quite wiley.”
In unrelated news, BB-8 also confirmed he mainly used the doggie door to sneak off to the new bakery that just opened down the street, where he and Poppy would break into their leftovers at night, and eat all the day-old bagels.
Article by Louie Aronowitz - @louiearonowitz