Beta Male Giving Out Tummy Rubs To Any Dog Who Looks At Him
OJAI, CA - Libbey Park, a canine hot spot, was taken by surprise yesterday when a weak, sad man attempted to walk through the park undisturbed, reports confirm.
“I was chasing the merry-go-round, and I was just about to catch it, when I tripped over a toy and went tumbling to the ground,” said Donald the Pug. “Before I knew it, the feeble human was scratching my tummy for almost 15 minutes.”
Unfortunately for the human, the other dogs took notice.
“We have an uncanny sense for weakness,” said Petunia the French Bulldog. “And we sniffed out that beta right away. He was no match for us.”
Petunia quickly employed the Frenchie specialty: harsh wheezing. Within seconds, she found herself in a belly-up paradise.
“You might be asking yourself, what can I do to get a belly-rub?” Jabba the Mutt chimed in. “Beg. Or pretend to be in distress. I think I saw him give a belly rub to a confused raccoon at some point. Honestly, as long as you’re a good boy, you’ll be getting that tummy scratched. I guarantee it.”
Petunia added a bonus tip for others, stating most humans of this type are at their best while crying.
Chris Calabrese - @chris_calabrese