Giant Metal Dog Runs By Too Fast

Giant Metal Dog Runs By Too Fast

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NEW YORK - A giant metal dog, traveling about 35 miles per hour, ran past Shadow, a neighborhood beagle, too fast to socialize, sources indicate.

“I tried to run after it, but he was just way too fast!” stated Shadow. “I see him every night around 6:30. He just runs right by, in the street, and doesn’t even look back at me. It’s like he doesn’t notice me at all. Maybe those lights he wears around his neck are too bright; they certainly hurt my eyes.”

Though Shadow continuously barks at this mystery dog night after night, the lifeless metal creature continues to elude him.

“He showed me once,” Shadows friend Puffy recalled. “I saw the dog he’s talking about. He seems mean. He’s dark blue, makes a loud screeching noise, and leaves a weird burning smell everywhere he goes. I don’t like him. I never met the dog, but I already don’t like him.”

Shadow appeared concerned as to some of the markings on the fellow pup as well.

“He’s got a tattoo right on his rear that looks like a star, and then numbers just underneath. I don’t wanna imply anything unsavory is happening, but I’ve heard my owners discuss the number branding and stars before, and it doesn’t sound like a good thing.” Shadow commented.

The owner of the giant metal dog refused to comment.

Article by Louie Aronowitz - @louiearonowitz

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