Dog Actually Just 3 Humans In A Trench Coat
NEW YORK - What once appeared to be an adult canine, has turned out to simply be three humans stacked on each other in a trench coat, sources allege.
“This entire time we just assumed he was a dog. Look at him. He’s so cute and cuddly. We’ve been taking care of him and playing with him. And all along, it was secretly three humans pretending to be a dog by wearing a big trench coat. I feel so duped!” owner Patricia Carey stated.
Though in retrospect many claim it was obvious, Rex, as they were collectively referred to, never gave off as much as a hint that he was not who he purported to be.
“He never spoke. Sounded just like a dog. Stuck his tongue out, and chased after cars. I guess I should have realized when I saw his hands, and when he wore shoes. Also when he used the bathroom instead of going outside.” mentioned Rex’s ex-brother, now pet, Shadow.
The nature of Rex’s true self became overwhelmingly apparent during a recent earthquake, when he appeared to have broken into three distinct segments within the trench coat.
“The ground began to shake violently beneath us,” recalled Jacob Reilly, the “mid-section” of Rex. “Suddenly, Dan [the feet of Rex] lost his footing, and soon enough we toppled right over. Patricia got so worried when she thought her pet had broken into 3 pieces. It’s weird that she still hadn’t realized at that point. Even after we all said ‘Ow’ and started crying.”
Patricia was last seen trying to mount a horse at a local Halloween party.