NEW YORK - Neighborhood Pug, Alan Barkin, though generally accepted as “ugly”, was recently found to still be pretty cute, like every other doggo ever, sources indicate.
Neighborhood Cat Just Smashing Face Into Owner
NEW YORK - Neighborhood tabby, Cat Dennings, has been just smashing her face into her owner’s legs, body, and face, sources allege.
Dog Keeps Changing The Channel
NEW YORK - Neighborhood Beagle, Chrissy Beagle, has been sighted repeatedly changing the channel on owner Dana Kent’s television, sources confirm.
Dog Informed He Is Cosplaying At Comic Con This Year
NEW YORK - Neighborhood dog, Sir Puptrick Stewart, was informed by his owner that he will in fact be dressing up for this year’s comic book convention, sources confirm.
Cat’s Bed Also Computer
NEW YORK - Neighborhood cat, Jude Paw, recently discovered her warm comfy bed on her owner’s desk, can also function as a $4,000 video editing machine, sources confirm.
Report: Nose Wet
NEW YORK - Neighborhood puppy Vincent Dogforio has been confirmed by several witnesses to have a wet nose.
Ranking of Cute Doggos Ends In Billion-Way Tie
NEW YORK - Neighborhood dog-judge Michael Landis recently attempted to rank the top ten dogs and ended up with a billion-way tie between basically every dog ever and even some cats, sources confirm.
Dog Using New Doggie Bed Every Night To Climb Up To Real Bed
NEW YORK - Neighborhood dog, Carmen San Dioggo, has been using her new doggie bed every night since the purchase as a jumping off point to get onto the human bed next to it, her owner confirmed.
Tailless Dog Chasing Nothing
NEW YORK - Reggie, a neighborhood dog, was seen running in circles the way an average dog would while chasing their tail, though, Reggie has no tail, so he’s really just chasing nothing, bystanders confirmed.
Faux Pas? Dog Wears White Coat After Labor Day
NEW YORK - Neighborhood dog, Jackson, is being ridiculed for lack of fashion sense after continuing to wear his white coat after Labor Day, sources indicate.
We Forced a Bot To Look At 1,000 Cute Puppies and Now It Has a More Successful Instagram Than Us
NEW YORK - Neighborhood BOT was forced to see 1,000 images of cute puppies, along with thousands of images of other cute animals, like cats, otters, and foxes, and subsequently created an Instagram account, posting cute pictures, and instantly going viral, sources indicate.
Terrible Roommate Has Good Dog
NEW YORK - Alex Barrett, an awful person to share a home with, has become the ideal roommate after it was confirmed he has a cute dog, according to several sources.
Cat's Threat to Knock Over Cup Intensifies
BLOOMINGTON, IN. - A standoff between local cat owner, Michele Walsh, and her domestic tabby, Bubbles, quietly threatening to knock over a cup of water sitting on the kitchen counter, has recently hit the four-hour mark, Walsh confirmed.
If All Dogs Are Good, Truly None Are Good
LOS ANGELES - Neighborhood dog philosopher, Dogrates, announced stumbling upon a groundbreaking theory wherein if all dogs are “good dogs,” then truly none are, he confirmed.
Police Dog Has No Idea She Has A Job
MONTPELIER, VT - 4 year old German Shepherd, Ridley, has been confirmed to be unaware she has a job with the Vermont State Police K9 Unit.
Instagram Followers Suspect Dog Didn't Actually Write Latest Post
GORHAM, ME - Instagram followers of @Happy, a 7 year old Shih-Tzu mix, have begun to suspect he does not actually run his own account.
Cute Service Dog Practically Begging To Be Pet
WASHINGTON D.C. - Fawkes, an adorable 6 year old Yellow Lab with a chin perfect for scratching, approached strangers, making his eyes huge, basically all but begging to be pet, sources indicate.
Chihuahua Fluent in English AND Spanish
AUSTIN, TX - Alice, a neighborhood chihuahua, taught herself herself to speak both English and Spanish, sources indicate.
Dog Takes Herbal Remedy For Upset Stomach, Eats Grass
SAN MATEO, CA – Afflicted with an upset stomach, neighborhood dog Ruth Bader Ginsbark opted for an herbal treatment, i.e. 300 milligrams of grass from her owner’s back yard.
Dog Wants to Play Fetch But Won't Drop Ball
DANBURY, CT - Local dog, Ruffus Wainwright, though excited to play fetch, was unable to partake as he was too afraid to let go of the ball, sources allege.