NEW YORK - Neighborhood puppy Vincent Dogforio has been confirmed by several witnesses to have a wet nose.
Ranking of Cute Doggos Ends In Billion-Way Tie
NEW YORK - Neighborhood dog-judge Michael Landis recently attempted to rank the top ten dogs and ended up with a billion-way tie between basically every dog ever and even some cats, sources confirm.
Dog Using New Doggie Bed Every Night To Climb Up To Real Bed
NEW YORK - Neighborhood dog, Carmen San Dioggo, has been using her new doggie bed every night since the purchase as a jumping off point to get onto the human bed next to it, her owner confirmed.
Tailless Dog Chasing Nothing
NEW YORK - Reggie, a neighborhood dog, was seen running in circles the way an average dog would while chasing their tail, though, Reggie has no tail, so he’s really just chasing nothing, bystanders confirmed.
Faux Pas? Dog Wears White Coat After Labor Day
NEW YORK - Neighborhood dog, Jackson, is being ridiculed for lack of fashion sense after continuing to wear his white coat after Labor Day, sources indicate.
We Forced a Bot To Look At 1,000 Cute Puppies and Now It Has a More Successful Instagram Than Us
NEW YORK - Neighborhood BOT was forced to see 1,000 images of cute puppies, along with thousands of images of other cute animals, like cats, otters, and foxes, and subsequently created an Instagram account, posting cute pictures, and instantly going viral, sources indicate.
Terrible Roommate Has Good Dog
NEW YORK - Alex Barrett, an awful person to share a home with, has become the ideal roommate after it was confirmed he has a cute dog, according to several sources.
Cat's Threat to Knock Over Cup Intensifies
BLOOMINGTON, IN. - A standoff between local cat owner, Michele Walsh, and her domestic tabby, Bubbles, quietly threatening to knock over a cup of water sitting on the kitchen counter, has recently hit the four-hour mark, Walsh confirmed.
If All Dogs Are Good, Truly None Are Good
LOS ANGELES - Neighborhood dog philosopher, Dogrates, announced stumbling upon a groundbreaking theory wherein if all dogs are “good dogs,” then truly none are, he confirmed.
Police Dog Has No Idea She Has A Job
MONTPELIER, VT - 4 year old German Shepherd, Ridley, has been confirmed to be unaware she has a job with the Vermont State Police K9 Unit.
Instagram Followers Suspect Dog Didn't Actually Write Latest Post
GORHAM, ME - Instagram followers of @Happy, a 7 year old Shih-Tzu mix, have begun to suspect he does not actually run his own account.
Cute Service Dog Practically Begging To Be Pet
WASHINGTON D.C. - Fawkes, an adorable 6 year old Yellow Lab with a chin perfect for scratching, approached strangers, making his eyes huge, basically all but begging to be pet, sources indicate.
Chihuahua Fluent in English AND Spanish
AUSTIN, TX - Alice, a neighborhood chihuahua, taught herself herself to speak both English and Spanish, sources indicate.
Dog Takes Herbal Remedy For Upset Stomach, Eats Grass
SAN MATEO, CA – Afflicted with an upset stomach, neighborhood dog Ruth Bader Ginsbark opted for an herbal treatment, i.e. 300 milligrams of grass from her owner’s back yard.
Dog Wants to Play Fetch But Won't Drop Ball
DANBURY, CT - Local dog, Ruffus Wainwright, though excited to play fetch, was unable to partake as he was too afraid to let go of the ball, sources allege.
Not-Dog Week Exists For Some Reason
NEW YORK - This week is the annual celebration known as Shark Week, which does not feature dogs, marking yet another event that makes zero sense whatsoever, basically every source ever confirms.
Government Gives Go-Ahead On DIY 3-D Printable Doggos
WASHINGTON - After DoggoTec introduced the prototype for the first ever 3-D printable dog, a government hearing has decided to allow research to continue, sources confirm.
French Bulldog Can’t Figure Out How To Celebrate Bastille Day
KANSAS - Tristan, a 4 year old French Bulldog, is attempting to ring in the day of French independence, but living on a farm in Kansas has made it a difficult venture, sources indicate.
Cat Thanks Owner for Petting Her By Viciously Attacking Arm
DENVER - Adorable and fluffy calico cat “Big Trixie” kindly thanked her owner for a pleasurable ten minute petting session by viciously scratching and biting his arm.
Bulldog Just One Massive Wrinkle
Nashville, TN - Upon bringing their beloved bulldog of five years, Artie, to the vet for a routine cleaning, the Miller family was shocked to discover he didn’t have a mouth and was actually just one big wrinkle.